Resident Evil: The Weskertine Chronicles
by Daitsuke-kun
Summary: This is the collection of little drabbles dedicated to my favorite pairing: Jill x Wesker. Rating may change from K to T. Some language here I guess. Reviews are appreciated. Hope to update soon.
1. I'm with stupid

_Yeah, so this is another my fic. I decided to write little drabbles about one of my favorite pairings: Jill x Wesker. I know the title is not the best but when it goes to naming stories, my imagination starts to act retarded =/ xD I'll update when I have more ideas and situations to put them in so they won't be too OOC. But I guess they are already OOC... Hopefully not too much yet though. I love writing about how days in S.T.S.R.S. office were =) _

_Hope my drabbles are even a little funny =)_

_Will appreciate reviews! Hope I'll have time to continue writing drabbles because now I'm working... I want to earn some money to buy a Wii and my birthday is soon, I hope to get an XboX...))_

_Rating will change from K to T I guess, hopefully not to M, but who knows...xD_

* * *

- Wesker! You need to tell me, what your favorite color is! - Chris proclaimed solemnly, standing up from his chair and accidentally dropping some document without even noticing. Jill eyed him in interest and Wesker raised his eyebrows,  
looking at his coworker from behind his sunglasses as though he was a patient of the phsyhiatric clinic.  
- Christopher, and may I ask why are you so interest in knowing it? Am I your secret obsession or something?.. - their captain said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Chris heard Joseph and Forest snicker and sent them what he believed was the "death glare". Unfortunately as it turned out his "death glare" was funny and not so deadly as he wanted it to be. Joseph started to laugh hysterically and evidently Barry had to drag him out of the office so he could calm down. But Chris wasn't the one to give up so easily. Rushing to Wesker's desk, he looked at him with pure excitement and curiosity in his brown eyes, wich caused Wesker to back off slightly.  
- Come on, captain, it's just a question! I need it because I'm passing a quiz here, "what's your boss like". And I'm dying to see the result!  
Jill frowned and cracked her fingers.  
- What am I hearing, Christopher!? You've been taking my journals again!? Redfield got nervous all of a sudden and hid behind Wesker's chair. Captain looked at him strangely and said cooly:  
- Chris, get back to your workplace. What's so scary about Valentine anyway.  
Redfield glanced at him, pure horror could be read in his orbs. - You just don't know her, captain! She's a monster!  
Wesker chuckled.  
- Oh is she?.. - he looked Jill up and down, smirking. She couldn't see him checking her out because of his sunglasses,  
but she felt it somehow and blushed a little. Chris stared in her in amusement.  
- Jill, you're blushing! Do you like what, have a crush on Wesker.  
With an angry yelp, Jill ran to Weskers chair *poor chair xD* and started to tickle Chris. - Here you are, Redfield! That's for being so dumb! That's for being so stupid! - she said, tickling him. The best marksman of S.T.A.R.S.  
laughed so hard and loud that after two minutes passed Wesker couldn't hear anything.  
- Stop that, you two! Stop now! - he ordered. It didn't help. Jill continued to tickle her partner, and everybody else *excluding Wesker of course* continued to laugh at Chris.  
- I said stop!  
No result.  
- STOP!  
_What are they like, idiots?_  
And then Wesker did something that was surprising even for himself as well - he put Jill on his lap, tightly holding her wrists with his own hands.  
Valentine shrieked and blushed heavier than before.  
Everybody in the office just stared at them wide eyed. Chris stopped laughing as well and felt dumbfounded, looking at his captain and his friend. Jill opened her mouth as though wanting to say something, but then Wesker pulled her from his lap gracefully.  
- I suggest you return to your workplace, Valentine.  
Jill closed her mouth and started to walk to her desk, giving him her last glance full of cofusion.  
Wesker turned to Chris to tell Chris to follow Jills example, but he noticed that Chris was just staring at something quite fondly and intently.  
He followed Redfields gaze and figured that.  
That Chris was staring at Jills ass.  
Oh God, that was not only highly _unprofessional_, it was just _rude_.  
Wesker shook his head and looked at Jills back. It wasn't like her ass was bad to look at.  
_Oh fuck, those thoughts were bad._  
Wesker couldn't help but stole another glance at Jills back, marvelling the way her hip swayed as she walked, how delicate and slender her whole figure was.  
_Damn Redfield._  
Wesker wanted to turn away and to say something sarcastic, but it seemed as though his eyes were glued to Jills back.  
_Fucking Redfield_.  
He didn't want to be acting like that retard that was their best marksman. Maybe Chris wasn't that bad, but Wesker thought that Redfield was quite dumb and stupid. Yes, he could shoot just great, had 20 of 20 hits as it was natural to him, but he was too kind and his living appeared to be quite sense less.  
Wesker collected all his will power and turned to Chris to say that S.T.A.R.S. office wan't a theatre, but his mouth hung open as Chris was absent in the place Wesker thought he would still be.  
- Er... Where is Redfield?.. - said captain impulsiely. Joseph melancholically looked at him, blowing a soap bubble into the air. He was sitting on his desk, a little bottle near his leg dangerously close to some documents that were carelessly spread on his messy work place. "Where did he get theese?.."- thought Wesker, looking at the bubble that blew several seconds after it was created.  
- Chris went out to grab some coffee for Jill and himself while you were staring at Jills ass. - said Forest, yawning. - Hey, Barry, wanna play online pocker.  
- Not now, I'm busy, Speyer. - growled Barry, typing something that appeared to be their last case about the murderer from Lynch street.  
Weskers gaze travelled to Jills desk only to find that Jills desk had everything besides the one that it belonged to sitting at it.  
- And where is Valentine?..  
- Apparently went with Chris to help him grab coffee. - answered Joseph, blowing another soap bubble. Wesker irritably looked at the bubble and stood up, fixing his sun glasses.  
- I think I'll go borrow coffee myself as well. - he said and went out, closing the door behind him.  
- Whats up with coffee anyways?.. - asked Forest rhetorically. Joseph looked at him, pre-spring laziness could be easily seen in his glassy eyes that mirrored lack of brain under his famous red bandana.  
- You see, my friend, it's already March. Time for psycho and lovebirds. That is why people are acting so strange theese days. - explained Brad. Everybody looked at him; normally Brad was too chicken to say something aloud, preferring just to work quitely with the documents or sitting in his helicopter, fixing and checking it. He felt that helicopters were his best friends; they didn't talk and listened to his very problem. He would neer tell, but he even gave names to them. The current S.T.A.R.S. ALPHA team helicopter name was Jack and BRAVO's helicopter was named Linda.  
- When have you grown so much brain cells, chickenheart?.. - said Edward, lifting his head from his table, where he was having a nice sleep several minutes ago.  
Brad chuckled.  
- Maybe I'm not as chicken as I seem after all. - he said and returned to his paperwork. Everyone were shocked to hear Brad talk like that but decided not to say anything. Beides, Brad said that March was the time for psycho.  
Maybe he was one of them.


	2. Waking up late is healthy

_Hey there, here's the update =) I changed the second genre to "general" because I guess my story is not very funny =/ _

_Thanks Stardust 4 for your review =) I hope you'll like this chap too =) _

_Okay, I know it's a bit cliche... But I fear to get my characters (well, not mine, but CAPCOM characters too OOC). I'll try to get something fresh out of my head.... Not something that's rotten like a zombie I hope :D xDDDDD (Itchy. Tasty xDDDD)_

* * *

Jill opened her eyes and sat up in her bed, stretcing her arms. Yawning, she layed back again, putting the covers away though.  
She knew for sure if she'll put a blanket over her again she'll fall asleep.- What a nice morning... - she said lazyly, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. Then she stood up and went to the window,  
dragging her plush dog with herself. It could sound funny but she slept with a plush dog named Razor. She just didn't feel so alone when she hugged the warm plush to her bodey, and he always was with her, listening to her darkest secrets and how her day went. Razor was with her since she was a little girl and it was her habit to sleep with him.  
She opened the window, and the cold morning wind sent chills down her body, messing her hair. Jill sat Razor on the sill and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. When she went out, she thought that she heard weird noizes coming from the living room but she thought it was just the fridge.  
Dressing in her S.T.A.R.S. uniform she went to the kitchen that was connected to her bedroom to make herself a coffee. When she walked closer to the coffee machine, she frowned slightly. Something wasn't right.  
- Good morning Valentine. Slept well?..  
Jill slowly turned around, shocked.  
That voice... It could belong only to the one and only.  
- Captain!? What are you doing here!?  
Wesker chuckled and sipped coffee that he appeared to make with the help of her coffee machine while she still was asleep, eyeing her from behind his dark shades. It seemed he helped herself and didn''t even bother to ask Jill for her permission. How Wesker-ish. He even took the only black cup that she had in her cupboard. Jill nearly did an unladylike snort but covered her mouth with her palm just in time to silence herself.  
He was dressed in black as usual, his hair perfectly combed as ever. Jill tried not to seem as shocked as she felt though (_A/N: shocked not because of his hair, about his precence in her appartment, you got that, right?.. xDDD_).  
- Oh, it's just that you, the always punctual Jill, are two hours late for work.  
- Two hours?!  
Jill ran to her bedroom to check her alarm clock only to find that it was abcent in the place where it usually had to be - on the bed shelf.  
Dumbfounded, she turned left, then right, but the clock was nowhere to be found. She even looked out of the window to check if it was lying broken on the concrete, but the concrete was clear excluding the empty bottle of bear, standing on the border.  
- And you know what surprised me most?.. That today Redfield came to work at time. Unbelievabile, huh?..  
Jill smacked her forhead and groaned.  
- Riiiight... How could I forget?.. - she moaned irritably, returning to the living room.

[**Jill flashback: the day before**]  
- I'm sorry sir I'm a little bit late but I, uh... - Chris's troubled and guilty face he made especially for Wesker lightened as though somebody put a light bulb inside his head. - But I had to save that kid from fire! You know, he lived on the 14th floor, and I just ran as quickly as I could, storming inside his apartament and saving the poor thing! Than I jumped to the ground and his parents said that Chris Redfield was the real hero, but I was so shy and all like "oh no I'm just and ordinary man" and... - It looked like he was worming to the role of a "hero" he made himself be.  
Wesker tiredly rubbed his temples.  
- Yeah yeah and that was another series of the Chris the Spiderman Chronicles. - Wesker said, waving his head and tiredly rubbing his temples. - Have you been reading the x-men comics again?.. - Wesker' eyes studied Chris's face intently behind the black sunglasses.  
Chris flushed deep crimson color, walking to his desk.  
- I uh... No, I read playboy, not that kind of crap for kids. - he said solemnly, pulling a hand through his hair. It only made him seem even more boyish. As always Chris wanted to make one impression, but made totally another.  
Wesker smirked, reclining in his chair and putting his hands on the back of his head, eyeing Redfield sarcastically, although because of his sunglasses that could not be seen.  
- Yeah, only when you happen to find it in Josephs desk. - Joseph tilted his head but seeing that there were no perverted actions and Wesker wasn't putting any yaoi actions on Chris he put his head bak on the table with a loud _bang_.  
- Sir I um...  
- Oh yeah and when do you remember already that we don't have the 14 story buildings in Raccoon?..  
- Well I can dream. - said Chris cooly, sitting himself at his desk and putting his legs on the table, eyeing Wesker. No one dared to offend Spider Man, his favorite marvel character, even his boss. It was a vendetta now. Chris will claim Wesker a sucker for forever on the x-men forum! Agents are GO! (_A/N: Okay, that was totally out of picture xD_)  
Suddenly something rushed into the office and right to Chris's desk. Redfield blinked and then yelped as something heavy hit his head.  
- Ow! That hurts! - he said rubbing his now sore spot. Jill *and that was her indeed* put her hands on her hips and made a "hmph"sound.  
- Now Christopher Redfield, you're again late for work! It's already the 9th time this week! 9th! And every time you promise that you wont be late again!  
- I'm... Sorry?.. - nearly squealed Chris and for that he got immediately hit on the back of his head.  
- You're a grown up man, Chris! You have to at least try and plan your shedule!  
- And what are you like, my mother that you tell me what I have to do? Besides, I don't have a shedule!  
- No but maybe I'm just worried because you are my partner and friend! And look down!  
Chris obediently did as he was told and was amazed to see a blue alarm clock lying near one of his heavy military boots.  
- So that's with what I've been hit... - he said phylosophially. Jill bent, picking the clock up and forcefully shoved it into Chris's hands.  
- Exactly, I brought this fucking clock for you so you at least try and wake up in time.  
Chris glanced at her and hid the clock inside his desk.  
- Um... Thanks.  
- You're welcome. - she said sternly and went to her desk. Chris shook his head.  
- Women... - he murmured under his breath and sat at his desk, completely puzzled. He looked at Jill and then back to the clock and then again at Jill. There was something about her... Or about the clock (:D)  
[**end of the flashback**]  
- Yeah, I pretty much remember that. - Wesker chuckled deeply, setting the now empty cup aside.  
- Perhaps we should mark this day red in the calendar. Jill laughed.  
- Yeah, this day shouldn't be forgotten. I bet Joseph was shocked near death!  
- He fell off his chair and sweared loudly for two minutes untill I threatened to cut his salary if he won't stop. - said Wesker seriously. Jill took the red marker she found in the shelf and walked to the calendar, marking number _17_ and drawing an exclamation mark and a smiling face near it.  
- There. - she said, closing the marker and throwing it in the empty vase. She didn't miss. With a "_bzzing_" the marker hid inside the vase.  
Wesker followed it's flight with his eyes and then his sunglasses turned back to Jill. He was impressed, though he as always kept his opinion to himself.  
- Do you sometimes take them off?.. I mean they are cool and stuff but I have a bad assosiation that you're cosplaying Neo. - she stated. Wesker snorted and suddenly...  
Took the sunglasses off.  
It wasn't like him, really. He never took them off at the office. It was strange seeing his face without the shades fully covering his eyes. His icy grey blue eyes met with Jills dark blue ones. She felt her cheeks and neck get red and hot under his gaze and Jill quickly turned around to hide her embarassment. He seemed a little bit too emotional without them - though not very much. Without his sunglasses she was only able to see that he had light bangs under his eyes and that he was tired. Being a S.T.A.R.S. captain wasn't a walk in the park actually, even for a man as talented and made for this job like Albert Wesker.  
Suddenly - in a blink of an eye - she felt his precense behind herself. He was standing right behind her back, nearly touching her with his own body, but still leaving some space. Jill felt his cool breath on her neck and froze, afraid to accidently make any even tiny move. It was... Strange the way her hearts felt like it was nearly in her throat, and her stomack making acrobatic flips.  
- Are you satisfied now?.. - he said in a quiet voice, his lips brushing her ear. Jill opened her mouth wanting to say something but all she could do was just to exhale sharply. His hands travelled down her sides and everything in Jill trembled.  
- I.... I'll go make us some more coffee. - Jill said quickly and practically ran to the coffee machine. But all of a sudden she was grabbed by her wrists and slammed into the wall.  
She gasped, and felt Wesker pin her to the wall, his face close to hers and his breathing hot on her lips. His eyes looked as though not _in_ her orbs, but _through_ them and insidem seeing her soul and all her thoughts.  
- Jill, I think we both are late for work and I assure you that I don't want a lot of coffee to react too _cheerful_. - he chuckled, knowing too well that words "Wesker"and "cheerful"were highly uncomparable. He stroke her cheek, pulling some loose hair away from her eyes. Jill could only stare at him wide-eyed, trying to figure out his expression that still was damn too unreadable even without his glasses  
- Let's go, Valentine. Now we're three hours late. - he said, buttoning his usual black coat and walking past her to the door. Jill blinked as if something was there in her eyes, making her uncomfortable, and followed after him, grabbing her favorite Beretta and shoving it into the holster.  
She sensed that something was going to change.  
And she wasn't sure if theese changes were for the best.


	3. Game noobs day

It was just an ordinary day at the S.T.A.R.S. office. Everyone (as always) pretended to be working and Wesker pretended to believe that, although to anyone who could come the idea of the S.T.A.R.S. "working" wouldn't even come into the mind. It was impossible to believe that Chris was working because every second he would curse and excitedly tap on the keyboard. Occasionally he would even put his head on the desk with a loud "bam!", which caused Brad yelp every time he did that. Apparently, Redfield was playing Counter Strike online with Forest, Kenneth, Edward and Joseph, and seemed to be always loosing. Chris was royally pissed with that as he was the best marksman, but the truth was quite simple: Joseph was cheating. It was good that Chris was so dumb that he couldn't even realize it; because Redfield was an excellent fighter and Joseph was an excellent screamer. What would have happened…

Brad was pretending he was writing something in his computer, but it seemed he was troubled with finding the right letters. Soon he gave up on it, letting as exhausted sight and excused himself, probably running away to his dear helicopters. Kevin and Enrico were playing poker along with Barry, and it was obvious that the older man was loosing and was very angry about it. Enrico was smiling what was meant to be a sincere apologetic smile, but in fact was a pure evil grin instead. Kevin was just frowning slightly, looking at his cards. You could almost feel his brain acting feverishly, thinking of all the combinations he possibly could do to win.

Jill was reading a book, yawning occasionally as her eyes were scanning the pages. You could think she was reading some crap like those "modern chicks" read now – something like "Twilight" or "Shopaholic", but on the contrary, the book was nothing like that. It was the latest magazine about all sorts of guns, and the sponsor of the magazine was the legendary Kendo, the owner of a gun shop just across the street from the R.P.D.

Wesker seemed to be occupied by some document. He sat there, his expression as emotionless as ever, supporting his head with his hand. Today his hair seemed… Strangely messed up. Usually it was slicked back in such a manner that no strands got loose, but today his hair reminded very much of Chris's style, only that it was blond. Jill thought how it would feel if she ran her fingers through it, but was horrified by that urge. He was her captain, actually, nothing more, nothing less, and she just wasn't allowed to think such things about him.

_Come on, this is your head, Jill! It's not like he can get inside your mind and discover what you think about!_ – Her inner voice was as brave as ever.

_Well, maybe he can't, but it is still highly unprofessional._

_Oh, please! Who would know!?_

_It is bad for my own discipline. And besides he's my boss. And what is the rule number one of a good partnership? Do not get involved with your partner!_

_But he's not your partner, he's your boss!_

_That's even worse. _

_Don't tell me that. You like him. _

_So what?.. Yes, I do like him as our captain, he's a good leader. _

_No, you, dumbass, you like him like "that"!_

_Like "that" what?.._

_Like that that… Well, that… In a "that" manner!_

_What do you mean by saying "that" manner?.._

_By saying "that" manner I mean the manner that you like him "that" type._

_If you think I'm clever enough to understand it, I assume you, you're wrong._

_Fuck it, Jill! You like him like a woman likes a man, not like a subordinate it's boss!.._

"…_."_

_What?.._

_It's useless._

_What is useless?_

_Talking to you. Because you is me an me is you… Wait, I meant I'm is I, because we are the one person!.._

_Really now?.. You're crazy Jill, you know that, right?.._

_At least I'm not stupid like you!_

_Oh but we are the same person so you are both stupid and crazy *LOL*_

_What the…_

- Miss Valentine, are you okay?..

- What!? Who!? Me!? I'm perfectly fine, feeling like Chris after a hangover! – Jill blurted out snapping out of her daze immediately, not even thinking what she was saying and to whom. The light chuckle could be heard and she saw the sunglasses of the one and only Albert Wesker staring at her. She felt a predator heat appear on her cheeks and neck and decided to break the eye contact with him. Or should it better be said the eyes-shades contact?..

- I do believe that Chris's hangover is one hell of a thing. – She heard him say quietly. Chris who accidentally happened to eavesdrop their conversation gave a loud "Hey!" and was immediately killed by Forest. Redfield shot Jill and Wesker a "death glare" and then returned to his game, swearing.

- Yeah… Saw it once. The experience as well as the impression were unforgettable. I remember that he sang the old pirate songs, yelled "yo-ho-ho" loudly, reminding of the worst Santa or a pirate ever, and I had nearly to carry him home right on mu weak back! And I can tell you he is heavy. After we got to his apartment, he puked near the elevator and fell asleep on a carpet near his door. Remarkable, eh?.. Luckily Claire was there so she helped me drag him in. I went home and rubbed myself with a bast wisp so furiously, that you could think that I was trying to graze my skin. – She said grinning. – And I'm not sure if I felt clean enough after that. – she laughed. Chris gave another yelp of protest and was assassinated once again, this time by Joseph.

- If you won't stop telling Wesker about the details of my private life, I swear I'll get up and kick your ass, despite you being a girl! - Chris growled, turning a little to her.

- Try to shoot Forest first, sucker. – said Jill coolly.

- Ouch! Couldn't you be a little more sincere?! – Chris asked angrily as he was trying to shoot Joseph in the head, miserably failing though.

- Could you not smoke for at least two days? – mocked Jill.

- No.

- Same here. So shut the fuck up and try running a little bit to the left, and then hide by the crates. Then shoot.

Desperate, Chris did as she said and then…

- Yahoo, I killed Forest! I actually killed Forest! – he shouted, throwing a fist into the air.

But his screen nevertheless flashed "Game Over".

- What the fuck!? – yelled Redfield, shaking his keyboard.

- Dude, you forgot about Frost here. It was my revenge for a friend! – Joseph high-fived Forest as Chris growled, bumping his head on the table.

- Oh, Jill, and next time you'll feel as dirty as then you can always call your captain to come over and help you. – Wesker smirked and returned to his work, fixing his sunglasses.

- Why thank you sir. – Replied Jill politely and returned to her book. But then she realized what Wesker had said (and what she answered) and she put her book aside with a loud "blam", rushing out of office as crimson as a tomato, not looking at anyone.

- Bathroom break! – she managed to yell before disappearing. Wesker grinned and quietly chuckled, his trademark "pure evil Wesker" chuckle that made all R.P.D. women sight and all men "hmph", boiling in jealousy and respect they no matter what had for him.

Nobody else seemed to notice Jills disappear and Weskers evil grin. Only Chris looked puzzled at Jills suddenly empty desk and than at Wesker. After doing that, he was immediately killed. Again.

- That is what you get for being so dissipated, Redfield. Oh, and I suggest that next time you throw a grenade first, then roll to the safe place, and while doing that give a short gun bust.

Chris automatically did what he was told to and was rewarded by Josephs and Forests angry grunts.

- Why are you and Jill not playing Counter Strike then if you're so clever?.. – he muttered under his breath after murmuring a "thanks".

Wesker fixed his shades in the "I-know-everything" manner, smirking, recoiling in his chair a little bit back.

- That's because all advanced gamers are playing Call of Duty 4, Chris. And noobs like you still play the Counter Strike and online shit like Lineage.

- Hey, Lineage is not shit!..

- Whatever you say, Chris, whatever you say. Try playing at least Clock tower for the beginning, and then we'll see. – Wesker mocked, turning on his computer.

There was silence for several seconds, and only gunshots from the game could be heard. And then again Chris's yelp of anger followed:

- Fuck! Those bastards killed me again!..

Whatever. – Wesker said rolling his eyes (which couldn't be seen behind his shades though) and started the Silent Hill 2 game. He had to kill some time.

And some monsters by the hands of the poor James Sunderland, wandering the empty streets of the deserted little town. Wesker liked the plot in this game. And he clearly enjoyed Sunderland's suffering. And his favorite ending was "In water".

And Pyramid Head was surely one of his favorite monsters and his idol.

* * *

_Wow, chapter three is up ^ ^ God I'm so cliche... ._

**Stardust 4**_, thanks again for the reviews =* _

_Hey, people, why are there no reviews!? Am I writing such a crap!? Could you at least tell me that then!?_

_I'm really trying to think something not cliche. It is hard, because I've already read so many fics here and my imagination is a retard and a lazy ass and always wants to find different ways to give me cliche ideas LOL_

_Update as soon as possible ^ ^_


	4. Cosplay, anyone?

_LOL, Natasha is back with the new chapter! *Natka Homecoming xDDDDD* Hope you'll like it ^ ^_  


* * *

- Jill?..

- What!? – barked Jill, irritably shaking her head and not turning from the computer screen. It was a usual day at the S.T.A.R.S. office and she had job to do. Jill had no time for chatting.

- Jill!

- Can't you see I'm busy here?

- Jill!

- If it's something stupid I'll… - Jill turned rapidly and Chris, who was calling her, made his trademark Redfield puppy-dog eyes.

- Please don't beat me, oh the mighty Jillian! – he said, falling on his knees, his lower lip trembling like if he was about to burst into tears every second. But Jill was pretty sure that if Chris ever cried, that could be only because of hard laughter.

- What do you want, Chris?.. – she said, tiredly rubbing her eyes.

- It's just that… You know… I wanted to tell you…

Jill smirked, putting her hands behind her head and recoiling in her chair.

- If it is that you love me, than you can just run off to the man's toilet and start weeping. – she chuckled evilly. Chris shook his head, his messy spiky hear messing up even more.

- No. I just wanted to say. – he stood up and leaned to her ear. – Wesker's still not here.

Jill unconsciously looked at the desk of her captain and already opened her mouth to say "what have you been smoking, Christopher", but her mouth just hung open.

Wesker REALLY was absent.

- What time is it?

- 10:30 and he still isn't here! – Chris whispered loudly. It wasn't like Wesker to be late. He was always punctual.

Joseph lifted his head curiously.

- What did you say, Red?.. – he then looked at Wesker's desk and his mouth hung open as well as Jill's.

– Holy shit! Wesker isn't here! Why the hell then was I behaving for the past hour!? – Joseph stood up, documents from his desk flew in the air as he did. Frost rushed to Brad and punched his nose. Poor Brad fell to the floor, spilling blood and looking darkly at Joseph.

- Why did you have to do that?.. – said Brad gloomily. Joseph happily shook his hand, observing his knuckles.

- Ah, yeah, let me remember… If I recall well… You broke mu PS2, you asshole! Last Friday, remember!? – yelled Joseph at him.

- Well, I said I was sorry. – Brad stood up, lifting his head so the blood won't spill on the table.

- Your "sorry" won't fix my console, you son-of-a-bitch! How am I supposed to finish Sonic now!? How!?

- Not my problem… - mumbled the ALPHA team pilot. Mumbled quietly though, barely audible. He didn't want himself a black eye.

Joseph turned red from anger.

- What did you just say?.. – whispered Joseph calmly. He was too calm, and Jill was pretty aware…

- CHICKENHEART I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER! – yelled Joseph, rushing at Brad. Poor Vickers screamed, his voice surprisingly reminding of a chicken and ran out of the office, Joseph running after him.

Jill chuckled and was about to return to her work when suddenly Barry walked to her, dragging his favorite (if you don't count Magnum of course) Samurai Edge with him. Valentine got slightly nervous; when Barry carried big guns, it meant he did that to use them, not to bring along like a souvenir.

- Jill can I ask you a question?.. – Jill glanced at the safety on Barry's gun and mentally noted that it was on. At least for now.

- Of course Barry.

- Chris, get lost. – Suddenly Burton advised Redfield politely. Chris gulped and smiled nervously.

- Jill, I-I th-think I'll better g-go, I have j-job to do… - he said, discovering he was secretly a stutterer, and backing off slightly, not taking his eyes away from Barry's gun. When he sat at his desk he sighted with relief and grabbed a pen, pretending to work hard. Jill noticed he took it the wrong side but decided not to point him that – he would discover it soon himself. He wasn't that dumb she hoped…

- Jill, what is it with you and Wesker?..

Jill nearly choked (she thanked God she wasn't eating or drinking anything) and looked at Barry as if he'd grown a third eye.

- Excuse me, Barry, but I don't quite understand what do you mean. FYI, he's my captain and nothing more, nothing less.

Barry winked, playing with the safety on his gun. Jill felt slightly nervous. She hoped her eye wasn't twitching as she looked at her friends gun. Sometimes Barry really reminded her of that maniac from Silent Hill 4, Walter Sullivan...

- Come on, Jill, I saw you staring at him. And I saw him looking at you. – he chuckled.

Jill shrugged.

- He's looking at everyone. He's checking on us, to make sure we are working.

- Yeah, but he stares at you longer that at the others.

- With these sunglasses on him every time, how can you tell for sure?

- Believe me, I can. – said Barry, clicking the safety off. Jills eye started twitching.

- Why are you so curious all of a sudden? – she asked, trying to stop her eye. Barry acted as though there was nothing wrong with her, although his smile told Jill that he noticed her nervousness.

- Oh, it's just plain curiosity. I like to watch Santa-Barbara with Kathy, you know… - he stopped talking when he saw a discusted expression on Jills face.

- Don't tell me you also watch Friends and Sex in the big city. – she said, her eye twitching even more.

- Well… Err… I… - Barry scratched the back of his head with a gun. Jill silently prayed that he would accidentally push the trigger. – Anyways, you like Wesker. – he stated, changing the subject.

- As a captain. – noted Jill.

- No you like him as a man, a person, not as your superior. How could you possibly like your boss!?

- I do not like him in that way!

- You do!

- I do not!

- You do!

- I do not!

- You do not!

- Yes I do! – said Jill furiously and covered her mouth with her palm, realizing what she'd just said.

- Caught you! – laughed Barry.

- Barry these are childish games! We are serious people here, for God's sake!..

Suddenly a loud **BOOM** emerged from somewhere in the building, not to far from their office, as Jill guessed, than a **CRRRACK** and a **WOOOSH**. Everybody in the office jumped and stared at the door as if it was all it's fault. Poor door! Such a misery she had to survive…

Then someone dressed completely in black rushed in the office so fast that everybody weren't able to tell who it was. Jill assumed it was a man, Barry aimed his Samurai Edge at their guest, and Richard melancholically threw a piece of paper at a person. Everybody looked at him strangely, but Aiken just closed his eyes and pretended he was sleeping.

Their strange guest fell on the floor, shrieking a little, and Jill was able to see that the man (and it really was a man) had blond hair and sharp features. The sudden realization hit her, and it was indeed a shock beyond belief.

- Captain Wesker!?

The blonde man jerked his head at Jills direction. His face was murderous, his eyes were like a stormy sea… Erm… I mean they were filled with rage. His usual sunglasses were missing, but also – and everyone gasped – his hair was messy! It was unbelievable. Jill covered her eyes with her hands, Barry looked away, Enrico choked and Richard woke up and fell of his chair.

- Wesker!? Is that you!? – spoke Enrico, pure disbelief in his voice.

Wesker plopped into his chair, running his fingers through his hair, making it even messier. Jill gasped.

- Captain, what it is with you!? You decided to cosplay Chris!? – she said, her voice quiet and her expression worried.

At the word "cosplay" Weskers eye started twitching.

- No Jill. Don't. Say. This. Word. Ever. Again. – he said, banging his head on his table with a loud thud with each word. Chris, who was still frightened from the encounter with Barry, looked at his boss angrily. Wesker just did his trademark head-thud. It seemed that wanted Wesker or not, he started acting like some of his colleagues sometimes.

- What happened? – said Barry, hiding his gun but not clicking the safety on. What if it wasn't Wesker? What if Barry and others were hallucinating? These times, who knew…

- Wesker, what's wrong with your hair!?

- Where are your sunglasses?

- Why do you look like you've been over run by a truck?

- Your hair gel expired? – Everyone looked at Richard who said that. Aiken shrugged.

"What, I just asked…" – he mumbled.

- Silence! – yelled Wesker. Jill gasped and Enrico dropped his newspaper. Wesker never yelled. He always was calm, cool and collected.

- Err… Whats up, doc?.. – said Forest sleepily, yawning. He always slept like dead and was awoken only by Weskers shouting. Everyone looked at him and Edward slapped the back of his head softly. Forest rolled his eyes and fell unconscious on his desk.

Wesker started to talk, and with each word he said he thumped his head on his desk.

"Yep. Totally © Chris Redfield" – mused Jill.

- I. Was. Invited. On. A. Cosplay. Ow my head.

Jill choked and Barry had to knock on her back a little. Valentine nearly fell, but she was stronger, thanks to the training, so she just rolled her eyes.

- ON A COSPLAY!? - shouted Chris, Jill, Richard and Enrico at the same time. Jill had a feeling that the whole RPD building shock from their yelling.

- Yes. – said Wesker, obviously defeated. – On a Metal Gear Cosplay at the Games official cosplay party hosted by Umbrella.

- Umbrella!? I though they were a pharmaceutical company!? - said Barry.

- So what? They're like producers. My friend works in Umbrella…

- Wow! Who will you be cosplaying then!? – said Jill enthusiastically.

- I won't be cosplaying anyone! – exploded Wesker. – That's just ridiculous!

Chris chuckled and scratched his forehead.

- Come on, Wesker, it'll be fun! – Redfield stood up and walked to Wesker, wrapping his arm around his captains shoulders.

- OMG I see yaoi! – yelled Edward frantically and started sketching something in his notebook.

- Pervert… - muttered Enrico.

- Who, me!? You like reading yuri manga yourself!

Enrico blushed and looked away. Jill wanted to vomit, hearing their conversation.

- Come on, captain! Who were you advised to cosplay? – Chris said, secretly smirking.

Wesker silenced for a moment, banging his head on the table and then muttered:

- Liquid Snake.

Chris laughed.

- Well, thar's obvious! That's because you're blond!

- But I want to cosplay Solid Snake! – said Wesker angrily.

- But his hair is brown. – noted Jill.

- Then I'll have to dye it. – said Wesker sternly.

**"…" OMGSTFU O___________________o**

WHAT THE HELL WESKERS GOING TO DYE HIS HAIR!? – Joseph and Brad rushed in the office. Brads vest was torn and Josephs bandana was around Chickenhearts neck. It seemed Joseph tried to strangle him or…

- Yaoi! – yelled Edward and started to draw something again. Enrico blushed, looking at what he was drawing.

Wesker banged his head on the desk once more, sighting. William was gonna pay hell for this. It was all because of him Wesker now was in deep shit.

- Hey, can I be Cyborg Ninja then!? – yelled Joseph happily. – And Chickenheart will be Raiden!

- Why Raiden!? – squeaked Brad.

- Because he's a looser just like you! – Joseph smacked his forehead.

Wesker sighted and banged his head on the desk for the hundredth time already. He was sure there was gonna be a bruise on his forehead later. And lack of brain as well.

It was going to be a long day.


	5. Poetry leads to poetry

Next chapter up! ^ ^ It's a long one this time, comparing to my previous ones! Next chapter will be about how Wesker and Co *xD* were preparing for the cosplay =)

P.S.: Whoooooo-hooo! I've emulated Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater on my PC! That was a miracle! I have only a little buggy sound, but I'll try to do something with it... Hope I'll manage to fix it!

P.P.S.: I'll try to update soon :3 Love ya, reviewers and readers! =*__*=

* * *

Brad stormed into the office, the expression of absolute fear could be clearly read on his features. Jill raised her eyebrow, Chris looked at Vickers with interest and Wesker just continued his paperwork, not even lifting his head.

Brad nearly fell on the floor, falling in his chair quite messily, and hid his head under a pile of documents, trembling, and reminding of an emu * not an emo xDD*

- Brad, what's the matter? – asked Richard in what he hoped a sincere voice. Brad made a sound, something between a "hmph" and a "mmph" and tried to seem as little as he could with his complexion; to say the truth it wasn't hard. He wasn't a muscular type of man, and he wasn't quite big. He looked more like he was a teenage boy sometimes. His vest had the smallest size in his team – well, excluding Jill.

- Yeah, Chickenheart, who scared the shit out of you this time?.. – said Edward lazily, playing with his pen. Paperwork was so boring.

But Brad couldn't say anything. Oh God he was so scared! He felt so miserable! Vickers was lost in self-pity so he didn't even hear Edwards question.

Everyone were puzzled, at least until Joseph and Kenneth came in, carrying something that looked like a plastic box. Brad, who lifted his scared eyes for a second, squeaked and hid once again.

- Aha, I see Chickenheart already is afraid! Well, this time I'll say he has every reason to be! – said Joseph enthusiastically. Jill looked at Joseph in disbelief; it was the first time in history when Frost actually didn't tease or beat up Brad for his behavior. Something definitely was up.

- What is this that you are carrying? – asked Barry. Kenneth winked and they put the box carefully in Enrico's desk as it was a) the cleanest one in the office b) it's owner was absent.

Joseph fixed his famous red bandana and rubbed his hands enthusiastically. Jill didn't like his eagerness; if Joseph was doing something with such excitement, it sure wasn't anything good. It could only be something that would cause trouble, trouble and nothing but trouble.

- Well, my dear friends, I'm positive that you all are just dying to know what this plastic box is! Announced Joseph. He attended drama classes when he was in school and could be an actor if his father wouldn't step in and said that either his son becomes a policeman or he'll deny that he'd ever had a son. Joseph's father knew his son was a lazy ass and tried to build his future for him. Very fatherly of him but not quite good in any way. As Joseph was a lazy brat, he still remained like that in his 22 fresh years. But everyone liked him exactly for how he was.

- Skip the cinematic part please, you're not Duke Nukem and we're not quite the kinomans here. – growled Barry.

Duke Nukem? Sweet Duke, but that was offtopic! – Joseph did a V gesture, winking in the manner of anime boys. Jill immediately pictured him with neco ears and tail, saying "nya" and it was quite a cute picture. *If I could draw I surely've posted it on DeviantArt xDDD*

- So, as I was saying, my friends, this is a box. No Wesker, not that box from Metal Gear. – Joseph rolled his eyes as Wesker shrugged and continued his work. Boxes were now a painful topic for him. – But! It's not an ordinary box!

- We've figured that out. – said Jill sarcastically. Joseph waved his index finger at her face.

- Tsk tsk tsk, milady, I'm not finished yet! This is a… - Joseph paused, making what he hoped was a "mysterious look" and glancing at everyone. Eventually his gaze stopped on Brad. – A Lie Detector!

Brad squeaked again, mumbling something like "God please forgive me for all the scenes I've done now brake the detector or just do something, pleeeeaseee!".

- A lie detector? – Chris, Jill and Richard exclaimed at the same time. Joseph winked.

- Yep! Exactly! Isn't that exciting!? Now we can learn everything about each other! Right, Brad?

Brad gulped.

- Anyways, it's not mine. I'm using this with the permission of a certain someone. – said Joseph mysteriously. Jill briefly wondered about whom was Joseph talking about but then Kenneth ran to the wall and pulled something on it. Probably a lever. Jill never noticed it was there actually.

The room was now completely dark and only Joseph stood in the spotlight. His eyes twinkled. He undid his bandana and waved his hair, his blond locks falling down his cheeks, covering his blue eyes.

- When I was little, I've always dreamed to know more about people who were not as they seemed, the good were the bad and the bad were the nice, I wanted to rip the unwanted disguise! – Joseph declaimed poetically, holding his hands together. He closed his eyes and sighted. – And when I grew up the technology grew as well as myself and there was invented something newwwww… - sang Joseph, his voice getting so high that the glass on Jill's table made a "bzzing" sound.

Wesker wasn't pleased. Those damn colleagues of his were distracting him from work.

- Can you stop!? You're distracting. – Wesker lifted his head; he couldn't quite work in the darkness as well.

Joseph winked and then was roughly replaced by Kenneth.

- Oh our dear captain, don't be so mad, we're cut our play short if you so want that! – said Sullivan, now standing in the spotlight. – We just want to show that detector is good, and it's not our fault that you're not in the mood!

- Shut up. – Wesker gritted his teeth. They were really starting to piss him off.

- Oh, but our captain, I'm sorry we can't, we're already started, I say that's nuff said! You know for yourself that we're genuinely right, and until we sing to the end we won't be out of your sight! – Joseph pushed Kenneth from the spotlight and made such a face that Richard fell of his chair.

- Oh, my bro Richard let me start with you, what secrets do you have to tell to us two? – said Joseph, helping Richard get up.

- Err… I don't really want to answer you that… - said Richard, rubbing the back of his head uneasily and glancing at Wesker.

- Too late to retrieve, don't be shy, my dear lad! – said Joseph with Irish accent, smiling. Richard cracked a shy half-smile.

- Well I don't know if it's a good idea, with detector and all, I mean…

- Oh, mamma mia! Do you have something you're hiding from us? – asked Kenneth in the Italian accent.

- Yes, I mean no, gosh you're talking to fast! – blushed Richard.

Joseph made a gracious move, reminding of ballet and danced to the detector, pushing the "on" button. The button turned green and the detector beeped. It was ready to work.

- Okay, kids, gather round DJ Joseph! We're going to have fun, the show's on, there's no way to run! – he danced to Brad and roughly made him stand up from his seat. Brad tried to escape, but Joseph already dragged him to the spotlight.

- Oh, here's our first victim, oh, I mean volunteer! - Said Kenneth happily.

- Come on, Mr. Vickers, what do you have in store for us here? – asked Joseph subtly.

Brad immediately felt his palms getting all sweaty and his cheeks flushed. He wasn't used to such attention at all.

- How much do you weight? – asked Kenneth.

- I don't know! – said Brad quickly.

- Is that right?.. – Joseph cocked his head. The detector beeped. – I think it is not, Mr. Vickers, don't lie!

- Okay… I wait… I weight… 73… - said Brad miserably. The detector stayed silent.

- Good boy Brad, didn't lie, soon I think you'll be free. – said Joseph, smirking.

Jill doubted it would be soon.

- Okay Brad now lets see… Do you often watch porn? - asked Joseph maliciously. Brad flushed.

- No, no, I don't! – Yelled Brad. The detector beeped.

- Sorry, answer is wrong! – grinned Joseph. – We all know what you do lonely nights at your home…

- You grab a bowl of popcorn, turn TV and watch porn! – laughed Kenneth. Everyone chuckled.

- Okay, now the third question, and this is the last: are you afraid of Chief Irons, my guest?..

Brad flushed a deep red.

- You're afraid that he'll kiss you and dress like a giiiirl? – intruded Sullivan.

- No, it's not that… - muttered Brad. The detector beeped.

- Vickers, answer is wrong! You little pervert, now go to your seat! – said Joseph, chuckling.

- Or we'll ask more questions that'll slow your heartbeat! – added Kenneth wickedly.

- Now the next victim, who'll that be? Ah, captain! Our second volunteer, we'll not letting you go off the hook so easily! – proclaimed Joseph. Everyone were already clearly enjoying the show. Well, besides Wesker and Brad. Chris was laughing like mad, Jill was supporting him so he won't fall, Edward turned on the camcorder and Richard just watched with a smirk placed on his lips.

- Go to Hell… - muttered Wesker.

- What was that? Didn't hear you! Are you all feeling well? – asked Joseph "the auditory". Barry grinned and Chris opened his brown eyes wide in anticipation.

- Well, let us then please begin our show! Wesker, you're in! Want to say something?

- No. – mumbled Wesker.

- Suddenly Chris rushed to Joseph and whispered something in his ear. Joseph nodded, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

- Well, what do you know, that's the coolest of the all part!

- Chris VS Wesker? Oh God, you're so smart! – said Kenneth, with fake adoration in his voice.

Grinning, Chris walked in the spotlight.

- Come on, boss, it's a challenge! I swear that you'll like it!

- If you have an urge to insult me, I advise that you fight it. – Wesker put his hands on the back of his neck, stretching, but not even making any attempts to stand up.

- So Wesker, do you use hair gel? – asked Chris, smirking.

Yes, I do, Redfield. – the detector stayed silent.

That's true! – mused Joseph.

- I wouldn't lie about that to anyone, even you. – said Wesker coolly. Joseph ignored the comment, wisely thinking that Wesker said that to Chris.

- So, the next question is definitely on: do you like Metal Gear and exactly Otacon?

- Yes, I do. – the detector beeped once.

- Well, for the first part of the answer I guess it is true. – said Kenneth. – But as for the second… You don't like Otacon!?

- Than who do you like?

- Big Boss?

- Snake?

- Major Tom?

Wesker silenced for a second and than said briefly:

- EVA. – The detector stayed silent.

- That indeed is the truth! Nice taste you have, Wesker, you like chicks with big…

- Don't be rude! – warned Jill.

Joseph innocently smiled, glancing at her.

- How do you know, maybe I was talking about brains?

- Wow, you do know that word! And I thought that all my attempts to make you cleverer are in vain. – said Jill ironically.

- Knowing the word doesn't mean that he's clever. – said Richard.

- It's the first step in evolution; better late then never. – sighted Jill.

- Now here's the third question, that's the last that I promise: do you like Jill? Please, captain, be honest.

- No, I don't. – said Wesker. And the detector… Stayed silent.

- Wow, you really don't… I thought otherwise… - Chris said; he was happy, but a little disappointed that he couldn't "pwned" his captain for his lie. Yes, it seemed he said the truth.

- Now Christopher for 2 weeks at least you have to be gentle and nice. – smirked Wesker. Kenneth turned on the lights. Everybody knew that smirk. It was the "I-will-kill you" smirk, one of his famous collection of Wesker's smiles and grins. This one meant trouble. For all.

- Now back to work, squad! You're the trained professionals! And you're acting like kids! – Wesker groaned. Everybody sighted and went to their workplaces. Wesker looked at Jill. She looked a little… Offended?..

"It's good that she doesn't know how really I feel" – smirked Wesker. But then his eyes fell on the date: 28.05., that was written in the open notebook on his table.

"Oh shit, cosplay…" - Wesker gritted his teeth. Luck really turned away from him.

Suddenly his phone ringed.

- Yeah? – answered Wesker.

- Hey, Al, it's me, Will! Is your costume ready!? Who you'll be cosplaying!? By the way, do you know who I will be? – babbled his friend. Wesker felt as though his ear drums were fucked.

- How much did I tell you not to call me during work!? – hissed the S.T.A.R.S. captain.

- Sorry, sorry. – said William lightheartedly, not even feeling any guilt. Such an egoistic person he was. – Otacon!

- What? – asked Wesker.

- I'll be cosplaying Otacon! Annet will be Mei Ling and Sherry'll be Sunny!

- Mei Ling!? Annette!? And you, Otacon!? And Sherry, Sunny!?

- Is my speech that incoherent?.. – said William lazily. – You know, we decided that Marcus will be cosplaying old Liquid…

Wesker carefully hung up on his friend. If _MARCUS WOULD BE COSPLAYING SOMEONE_, it W_OULD_ be a _SCENE_. And Wesker wasn't about to miss it.

- Hey, Chris? – asked Wesker.

- Yeah cap? – Chris was more than amused that Wesker was talking to him, actually talking, not snapping, and in such a… Friendly *O___o* voice.

- Do you want to go to the cosplay with me? I'm inviting you all by the way. – said Wesker. Josephs jaw literally hit the floor.

- Wha… Your serious!? – he asked in disbelief. Wesker nodded.

- Absolutely.

That day forecast tellers probably forgot to mention about magnetic storms. Especially in the area of R.P.D. Especially at the S.T.A.R.S. office. And especially near Weskers desk.

They must've hit the man pretty hard, these storms.

- You're not drunk?

- No.

- Drugged?

- No.

- Under pressure?

- Me? – Wesker sarcastically winced his brow.

- Oh, right… Um… You're not trying to trick us?

- No.

- Are you Wesker!?

- Pretty sure I was today. – said their captain.

- Then I give up. – Chris said, rolling his eyes. – Maybe you tried to seduce Jill and she didn't protest much?

- No! Christopher, those dirty thoughts… - Wesker raised his voice.

Suddenly the detector beeped. Everyone were speechless.

- Wes… Wesker! You're lying! Y-you tried to… T-to… - Chris gasped.

- I didn't try to seduce her!

Beep.

"Shit…" – muttered Wesker.

All curious eyes in the room turned to Jill. She pretended to be hard working and trying not to blush. Damn them… Sometimes, they really annoyed her.

- I think the thing's broken… - said Wesker unemotionally. – I better go give it to Irons, I heard he's good with technique…

With these words, Wesker took the detector and went out of the office. A loud **BANG** could be heard, and Wesker came back, satisfied and without the detector.

- You know that Irons's office is in another wing? – asked Chris suspiciously.

- No worries, Redfield. I took care of the detector personally. – their captain smirked devilishly. – Now back to work.


	6. ToraDora

**Hello, my dear friends! It's been a long time, sorry I didn't update sooner! Didn't have much time, and I'm playing Metal Gear Solid 2 Substance right now, so... Yeah, you get it xDD This chapter involves only preparations for the cosplay, and a lot of romance, a lot of Jill x Wesker I mean. You know, playing MGS2 inspired me also to start writing another story. Callen Resident Evil: Sons of Wesker. It isn't a Metal Gear x Resident Evil crossover, but the idea of the story is totally from Metal Gear. I've already written the prologue, but didn't post it yet. I'm just not sure if I'll continue, but I guess I will. But I won'tt forger about this story that is turning more and more into a whole fanfic, that just a bunch of drabbles... O__o xDD Anyways, the cosplay chapther is up ahead! And the chapter when we meet HIM... xDD You'll know who I'm talking about... **

**Oh, yeah, the chapter is named "ToraDora", because Tora means a tiger, and Dora means a dragon. I think it suites this pairing well - Jill's a dregon, and Wesker is a tiger... The name of this chapter, as well as the lyrics of the song are taken from the anime "ToraDora!" I watched some months ago. It's was a romance/comedy one and I really liked it although I'm not quite an anime fan (it's not like I don't like Otacon xDDD). But while writing this chapter I remembered the title of an anime, and thought that Jill and Wesker are totally like that - a tiger and a dragon. Hell yeah, why not? - I thought... And voila! :)**

**Thank you my readers and reviewers! You prove that my story is at least a little bit interesting! xDDD And you inspire me to write more! ;)**

* * *

_Pure! Pure-pareto!  
tsuyouku nanka nai kedo  
Pure! Purepare-do!  
itsuka kimi wo tsukamaeru_

_Pre! Preparation!  
I'm not strong  
But Pre! Pre-parade!  
I'll catch you someday!_

_© Kugimiya Rie & Kitamura Eri & Horie Yui - Pre-Parade_

* * *

Jill prepared everything – her bathroom, the needed things and, mostly, herself for what she was about to do. She smirked to herself when she imagined that after she'll do what they planned she would be able to blackmail Wesker… Of course it was a joke thought, because everyone'll know when she'll do it, but oh, what joy it'll be just to see Wesker's miserable face… Could be joy at least. She doubted he'll show his true feelings about what she was about to do to him.

The doorbell rang. Jill hurried to the corridor but hit the wall somehow and fell on the floor, nose in her carpet, her eyes tightly shut.

- What a scene do happen to watch here now! Is this a new way to treat your guests? – she heard the oh-so familiar voice of her captain.

"Weird, I thought the door was closed…"

- Um, well, yeah, it's how… How they treat guests in Japan. – Jill stood up quickly, blushing. Wesker eyed her with his emotionless expression, sunglasses present on his face as usual. Jill rubbed the back of her head uneasily, praying he didn't notice her blush. Unfortunately, it seemed he did, because he smirked so strangely at her. Jill wished she was in Antarctica now.

"Probably white polar bears are friendlier then he is" – thought Jill gloomily. Though her captain wasn't acting bad towards her or _dirty – _she still didn't like his behavior. Being a highly sensitive person she felt that… Dark aura around him. It frightened her sometimes, but mostly… Mostly it _excited _her.

He grinned at her, baring his white straight teeth. It reminded her of a tiger somewhat, but Wesker was much more attractive that a tiger. As this thought hit her, she shook her head furiously, and invited him in by waving her hand.

- And I thought I'll be standing here for the rest of the day. Thank you kindly, miss Valentine.

- Oh, don't mention it. I just happen to be in a good mood today. – said Jill, walking in the direction of her bathroom. Wesker didn't move, however, just cocked his head in curiosity, watching her.

- And why is that? – he asked suddenly. Jill stopped and turned her head so she could see his figure with her right eye.

- Oh, no reason. – she smirked, turning away and continuing her trip to the bathroom.

All of a sudden she was slammed against the door of the bathroom, with such a force that it drew breath out of her lungs. Wesker inched his face closer to her, holding her wrists above her head. The seen could look highly sexual if it wasn't so threatening.

- Now so we understand each other clearly… I don't want anyone to know that WE did THIS, get it? We're doing it just because my friend is a fucking asshole, always interfering with my plans! We do it, I live, you get a promotion and tell no one, is that clear?!

Now that was their captain – tough, solid as a rock and intimidating. Jill just searched his eyes, trying to figure them out from behind his black sunglasses. Useless. For a moment, though, she sweared she saw something red, but… She wasn't sure if it wasn't just light from the cars outside mirroring on his glasses.

- I'I guess he's not s-such a friend to you if you say t-that about him. – said Jill, exhaling deeply. Wesker gritted his teeth.

- None of your business, Valentine. I could do it myself very well, but Will insisted that I need a helping hand… A woman's hand for that matter. – he chuckled.

- Is that why you're holding my wrists then so tight? – said Jill sarcastically, trying to free herself. But his grip was like iron or steel – she thought her hands were turning white from such force.

- Maybe. – he released her wrists and walked to the bathroom, taking off his sunglasses in the process and putting them on a shelf under the mirror.

He was acting like that to her since that incident with the lie detector. He was more distant with the others now and was making her life hell; now she had even more paperwork and had to stay nearly until 12 o'clock to finish it. She was lucky when Chris was late as well or Barry, so they would give her a lift home, but usually… She stayed alone. Sometimes Wesker was present as well, but not a word came from his thin dry lips as they sat in silence, working.

He turned to her and Jill for the second time ever saw his blue dim lit eyes, similar to hers. It was enjoyable to watch him so revealed; she doubted even Chief Irons ever saw Wesker without his sun glasses, or Enrico, nor the rest of her team and was highly flattered thinking so.

Jill hurried to the bathroom and rolled her sleeves up. Wesker suddenly tool off his vest and shirt, revealing his toned and rather muscled form; he wasn't buff but he certainly was well-built. Jill felt her cheeks burn crimson red.

- What is it, Jillian? Never saw a man as _sexy_ as me? – teased Wesker. Jill ran a hand through his hair, chuckling.

- Oh, captain, you better not talk to me in such a tone, or I may _accidentally _dye your hair _pink_ instead of brown. – said Jill in a threatening voice. Although in a joking context, of course.

- Mind your tongue, Valentine, or…

- Or what, you'll mind it for me? – teased Jill and when she understood what she just said she coughed.

- What was that? Do I sense a secret wish in these words?.. – Wesker lift his eyebrows, looking at her like a predator watches his pray.

- You dream. – said Jill as she turned on the shower and suddenly pointed it right in his direction; in a matter of seconds Wesker (and the right side of her bathroom as well) were soaking wet.

- Valentine, I'll kill you for it! – Wesker looked at his wet pants and shoes and fingerless gloves.

- So what!? They were dry pants, now they're… Not dry pants! What's the bid deal anyway? I don't… Hey, What the hell… Aaah!

Wesker quickly took the shower from her hands as she was unfocused, still laughing, and washed her down. Jill opened her mouth to say something like "uh, unfair!", but then closed it and started to laugh even harder.

- Now we're even! – said Wesker in triumph. Jill "hmphed" and crossed her hands on her chest, hiding her now all see-through chest from his view.

- You know that fic writers call it OOC, right? – she said darkly.

- Call what OOC? – asked Wesker.

- What you and I are doing. Three words – Out Of Character.

- You're a fic writer? – guessed Wesker.

- I'm a fic reader. – smiled Jill thickly. – Are you sure you weren't smoking anything lately?..

Her captain pursed his lips thoughtfully.

- Now I remember getting that strange cigar from Chris yesterday… He said I'll feel better after I smoke it… - he said seriously.

- What!? Are you nuts!? Everyone knows that Chris smokes weeeeeeeed! That's why he's so duuuumb! – Jill waved her hands, pretending she was a butterfly. Worst butterfly ever.

- Fuck, why I'm to know the news last? – said Wesker, amused.

- I don't know, maybe because everyone thinks you're a cold heartless bastard?..

Wesker chuckled.

- And a sociopath too. – he noted. Jill looked at him strangely and then the too broke into laughter. At least Jill did; Wesker just started chuckling.

- God, I d-don't know why I-I'm laughing but this is so funny!

- You tell me. – smirked Wesker. – With each next day I learn more and more about myself. Sometimes things I never supposed I even had in me. – He grinned, showing his teeth once again. Jill looked him in the eyes and was suddenly taken aback how attractive and really young he looked with his blond hair messed up, without sunglasses, topless, grinning in such a manner… Everything about him just shouted _sexy! Oh God I'm so sexy Jill I want you to want me right here right now!_

Jill shut her eyes but it seemed like a bad idea, because she was once again pinned to the wall, his square jaw touching her neck, his lips close to her ear, and his – _oh God – _nearly naked body touching her own form, chest-to-chest…

- Were you just checking me out, Jill? – he whispered in her ear huskily. Jill opened her mouth to say something but then his mouth found hers and made her forget whatever she was about to say, kissing her with such passion and greed that Jill moaned in his mouth involuntary.

- Cap…Mmmmmm…Wh… Mmmmmmm… - Jill tried to say something but Wesker didn't let her to spoil the mood with words. He simply didn't let go of her full lips. Jill started to give in, digging her hands automatically in his bare back. Wesker groaned, clearly aroused and pleased with the feeling, continuing his assault on her lips.

- We're not supposed to do this. – She breathed out when he let her go for a second in fear that he'll choke her.

- Whatever. – mumbled Wesker in her inviting mouth and kissed her lips once again.

- Wesker, we have to dye your… Hair… - Jill managed to say weakly before he kissed her once again, their tongued dancing, savoring each other.

- Don't you even… Try and spoil the mood, Jillian… - groaned Wesker in her mouth. Jill didn't answer, just threw her arms around his neck and closed her eyes, trying to be as closer to her captain as possible.

Who new how sexual the scene could've become, if not the…

_**Ring-ring! Ring-ring! **(A/N: remember the ringing of Snakes communicator when Otacon called him?.. Familiar here... xd)__**  
**_

Wesker groaned once again, this time in annoyance, and took his cell phone from the pocket of his black pants, not breaking contact with Jill. He looked at the display, letting go off Jill and breathing heavily. He wasn't pleased to do that, but he had to. Jill effortlessly tried to show that she was relieved he let her go, but in her blue eyes there was clear disappointment.

Wesker flipped the lid to open and nearly sat right on the floor because of great amusement. It was an SMS. Nobody ever sent him SMS, he didn't even knew that option well… The number was unknown, and Wesker was aware that it could be some kind of a virus *a cell phone virus, not a T-Virus xDD*, and opened the message cautiously, slowly pushing the middle button.

"Heeeeey, how're u!? XDD Dance'n sing I'm coming to visit ya! *______* Meet me at the airport in 2 hours! *winks* Don't ya think it's totally marvelous we'll see each other again!? *lol*"

Wesker groaned for the hundredth time this day already. He was happy without this, thank you. He looked at the SMS once again. Spelling mistakes, these internet things like xDD… Yep, that totally was him…

Jill looked at him, sensing his annoyance.

- Work?.. – she said understandably. Wesker shook his head.

- Not quite. I have… I have a guest coming to Raccoon… And I'll have to meet him in two hours at the airport. How common of him – to call me when I'm busy… - he smirked at Jill who cast her eyes down uneasily.

- Now, where were we? Ah, yes, miss Valentine, is everything prepared?

- Yes, sir! – Jill felt like answering that way. She didn't know why, it was just that sometimes he clearly showed that he was none other than her superior, not a man she had a thing for.

- Let's do this, then! – said Wesker, throwing his fist into the air.

"..."

- Erm… Captain? You've just killed a fly. – Jill pointed confusedly.

- What!? – he looked at his fist. Indeed, there was a fly lying on ot, clearly dead. If they had microscope, they could be able to see it's x__X eyes and crossed… Paws? Legs? What do flies have anyways?..

- Whatever. – Wesker rolled his eyes, wiping the dead fly from his fist with Jills blue towel. – Just die my goddamn hair already!

Jill shrugged and took the rinse.

[_one hour later_]

Wesker looked himself in the mirror skeptically. It was as if a totally different man was staring at him from the depths of the mirror world. Of course, the features were quite familiar, but the whole appearance was… New. He had to get used to his new self.

- I'd say captain you look… Odd. At first I thought you weren't serious about dying your hair, but now I see…

- Dear Jill, it's for the sake of the Solid Snake cosplay! – said Wesker solemnly. I'm 26, fresh and young, an I have to enjoy my life while I have the time! Who knows what'll happen soon…

- You're too pessimistic. – Jill ran a hand through his hair, feeling his now brown locks. – But nevertheless, I have to say that you still look… Er… Good. – she blushed a little.

- I guess you wanted to say "hot", Jillian?.. Come on, I know that you like me. – grinned Wesker, facing her. With his new look he seemed not that cold-hearted and unemotional as he always was.

- You wish. – said Jill, walking to the kitchen and taking a sandwich out of it.

- Jill sandwich? – Wesker licked his lips, lifting his eyebrow. Jill waved a finger in front of his face.

- Tsk, tsk, tsk, Mr. Wesker! The sandwich is mine, stay away from… Ow, hey, give it back!

- Make me! – yelled Wesker from another corner of the room, waving the sandwich in the air.

- It is my lunch! – shouted Jill, chasing after her captain.

- A-a-a, it WAS your lunch! Now it is MY lunch! – exclaimed Wesker in triumph and pierced his teeth into the sandwich.

- No way I'm going to let you eat it all! – said Jill and rushed herself at her captain, biting another side of the sandwich.

Soon they both eat their parts of the sandwich and their lips touched. They licked each others lips, tasting the sandwich as well as each other and then Wesker pulled back, putting his black shirt on. Jill wasn't quite pleased that his perfect toned body was now covered with clothes, but decided not to voice her opinion. Wesker putted his sunglasses back on as well, smiling. Jill could swear that it was exactly _a smile, _and not his usual smirk. But unfortunately it didn't hold long on his face and quickly mutated into a grin.

- Well, let's go, Jill! – said her now brunette captain unemotionally. We have someone to meet.

- Who? – said Jill, putting on a hoodie above her top and zipping it. Wesker looked at her thoughtfully, as if thinking if she was decent enough to hear the information. But then he decided that she was about to see him anyways, and sighted, preparing to tell the truth.

- My brother.

Jill's jaw literally hit the floor.

- YOU HAVE A BROTHER!?

Wesker eyed her with a patience a nurse looks at the psycho that's swinging on a lamp. Get off the lamp, sweetie. It needs to rest a little and peck some seeds.

- Yes, unfortunately I do. Is there something abnormal about it?..

- No, it's just… Nevermind. – sighted Jill and walked out of her apartment, her captain following her close behind.

* * *

**I'm not sure if Wesker is 26, it was Pre-mansion in my fic I mean, but duh, who cares? xDD**

_**Thanks for reading! *______***_


	7. Mall matters and facepalms :P

Chapter 7.

**Mall matters**

- Brother, you look so very much acceptable with yor new brown hair! - squeaked the blond man, jumping up and down, the expression of total "oh God so kawaii" on his sharp, a little bit dull features. The man was wearing a beautiful red jacket with golden medals and straps, but it would look less ridiculous on him if the man wasn't wearing short knee-length pants and fluffy white ears on his head. Who knows why the hell was he wearing them? O__o That's a secret we'll never get to know...

Wesker facepalmed himself soundly.

- Alfred, could you please stop embarassing Jill and myself?.. - he mumbled, his palm closing his features. Jill giggled, looking at the ears on top of Alfreds head. Of course he looked ridiculous,  
but nevertheless rather cute.

Alfred waltzed to Wesker and ran his gloved hand through his brothers hair. Oh, yes, it was gloved, in white gloves that Jill thought she remembered Mickey Mouse wearing in theese Disney movies.

Wesker roughly moved hs brothers hands away.

- Oh God why do I have to be related to this pathetic creepy man?.. - he mumbled under his breath. Alfred smacked his forehead and frowned.

- Don't talk to your older brother like that!.. Say that you're sorry!

- Whatever... - Wesker rolled his eyes and once again, what seemed for like the hundrendth time already, facepalmed himself. It was surprising that there still wasn't a red imprint of his hand left on his face.

Jill was tired of suppressing her laughter by just giggling and laughed whole heartedly, falling on her knees, clutching her stomach.

Alfred glanced at Jill and then at Wesker, his expression reminding of a child that didn't understand that candy was allowed only after dinner.

- Why is your girlfriend laughing, stop her! She can't laugh until I know the reason! - Alfred stomped his foot and crossed his hands on his chest.

- For the hundredth time, Alfred, JILL IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! - Wesker was REALLY yelling now, very pissed. When Alfred said she was his girlfriend for the first time, he smiled thinly, Jill blushed. The second time he said that, Wesker chuckled in annoyance and Jill looked at Alfred with murderous eyes. The third time... Well, the third time was now. Either Alfred was just dumb or liked pissing off his brother. Wesker thought it was the second, while Jill wondered if it might be the first.

- Yeah yeah, whatever you say, little bro. - Alfred waved his hands in the air and whistled some catchy tune.

_Oh, my dear readers, I guess you've already figured out who this Alfred is, right?.. I think it's not a very hard riddle... Comparing to riddles in Remake Oo But! That was offtop! XD Back to the story..._

**[10 seconds later]**

- YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A HUMAN GET BACK HERE WITH MY GLASSES! - but Alfred just sticked his tongue out at him and ran away, laughing like a madman and making some attempts to dance in the process while running.  
THAT was scary I must say.=(

Wesker chased Alfred through the whole mall but to no avail. Alfred soon got out of his sight and Wesker returned to Jill, sighting.

- I hate my brother... - he murmured in defeat, looking at Jill. Valentine was secretly thanking Alfred, because now she could see her captains eyes. She loved to have this eye contact with him, he looked a little bit more emotional. And she absolutely LOVED IT.

_Oh yes, my dear readers, I must tell you in the first place why Jill, Alfred and Wesker were at the mall. Well, you see, the cosplay was soon. Very soon. In three weeks. And they had to find themselves costumes. Or at least find material for the costumes.  
Neither Jill or Wesker or Alfred could make clothes, so they preferred to by the already made ones. And that's why they were at the local Raccoon City Mall - the place where kids have fun and adults... Well... Have fun too xD_

- I wonder where Alfred ran off too. - said Jill and looked around, just in case Wesker's brother was somewhere near. - And why did he steal your glasses in the first place?..

- Because he's a b...

- BROOOOTHEEEEEER! - Wesker looked to the right quickly but it was a wrong guess - Alfred launched at him from the left and they both fell to the ground, Alfred laughing and tickling his brother and Wesker... Laughing Oo Acrually laughing. Hard. Jill took her Nokia, flipped the lid and turned on the camera, smirking evily. Blackmail was one of her favorite hobbies in the free time, after beating Chris of course.

- Oh my God Alfred GET OFF ME! - Wesker yelled on top of his lungs, laughing madly, tears in his eyes. But his brother continued the torture, not being able to stop. OMG, OMG, OMG O____o

- PWNED you, little brother! - Alfreds grin was probably the biggest grin Jill had ever seen.

- You two probably are aware that you're lying on the floor in the middle of the mall. - pointed Jill casually, but not stopping her camera. The show still went on. People that occasionally passed by, however, didn't even glance at them.  
There were too many psycho in the world nowadays and people have a tendency to get used to everything. Probably two man lying on the floor, one tickling the other wasn't such an amuzing sight.

- And this is the reality show "Wesker finally gets PWNED by his little brother", hosted by the sexy, seductive Jillian Valentine! - commented Jill cooly. Alfred showed a V symbol in the camera, his neco fluffy ears that he bought at the "Anime Paradise" sitting not so straight on his head anymore. Yes, did I tell you that Alfred was a crazy otaku?.. *readers: collapse Oo xD*

- Desu nya! - purred Alfred, turning his head and showing himself in his full Ashford glory. Oh, yes, he was Wesker's cousin, not a actual brother, but Alfred couldn't care less.

- Get... Ha-ha... Off... Me!!! - Wesker was trying to say, taking deep breaths, laughing, while Alfred continued to tickle him.

- Okay, so this is the tip for those who have brothers: steal their sunglasses and attack them when they aren't aware where you actually are! The best tactic ever!

- Tactical Espionage Action, my friends! - yelled our self-proclaimed otaku man. Wesker finally threw him away from himself, groaning and wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. Jill hid her phone casually as if nothing happened.

Wesker rushed to her and extended his hand to her.

- Phone. - he said shortly. Jill looked at him with eyes full of innocence.

- No. - mused Jill. Alfred looked at them and already opened his mouth to say something, still lying on the floor, but then he closed it and stood uo, his expression totally hilarious.

- Oh my God, new Dark Butler season is already in store! Must buy, must buy, must buy! - squealed the big brother and rushed in an unknown direction. Both Wesker and Jill rolled their eyes and sighted, somewhat in relief.

Wesker ran his hand through his now brunette hair and smiled sarcastically. It looked like he forgot about the camera. Oh well, better for Jill that way.

- Well, this is my brother. What a moron.

Both grinned at each other.

- So... Where do we go?.. - asked Jill.

- I don't know... Maybe... Underwear store?.. - there was a glint in her captains eyes. Jill couldn't help but feel the smallest of blushes appearing on her cheeks, making them hot and she hoped not very red.

- You wish. - Jill snickered and walked to the C & A to look for some clothes for her cosplay. Alfread voulenteered to cosplay too - he decided he wanted to be young Revolver Ocelot from Metal Gear Solid 3. (A/N: I don't know about you, but he and Alfred are somehow... Alike o__O)

- It's not a sin to try and fail, it's a sin to fail a try. - commented her captain. Jill raised her brow.

- Been reading much lately?.. Wesker-the-philosopher?.. Well, I must say Wesker-the-cosplayer is waaaay cooler. - her smile turned into a sly one. Wesker smirked.

- Miss Valentine, if you continue smiling at me like that... I'll consider this as the invitation. - Jill shot him a naughty look and suddenly she had a brilliant idea. A teasing idea, involving...

- Hey, Wesker, how about we go to Victoria Secret?.. - she didn't miss a chance to get new bra and panties for free, because Wesker was certainly about to pay all her purchases. He lost her in the rock-paper-scizzors game while they were driving in the car to the mall. Of course Wesker was driving and he didn't pay that much attention to the game, that's why he lost. He was pretty much sure Jill was cheating somehow, but he didn't have any evidence. And Alfred grew close to Jill only in a few hours as a brother she never had and was already willing to cover her whatever she did. They were like a big family now, well, excluding Jill and Wesker's relationship. You could cut sexual tension between them with a knife.

- Well, dear heart, I certainly am more than willing to accompany you. - Wesker said as plainly as he could, trying not to show his excitement. Jill shrugged and took his hand, leading him through the mall. His sunglasses were still in Alfreds hands, he remembered, but he knew better than to search for his crazy otaku brother in the huge mall with thousand stores. Alfred could be everywhere.

When they found a Victoria Secret, Jill rushed inside and started looking at different kinds of undergarments. The staff looked at Wesker curiously, who was standng near Jill unemotionally observing the sea of priate clothing stuff, but soon they got too curious and a cute staff girl shyly walked to him.

- Um, sir... It's a woman's store... And I... Wanted to... Say... - The girl was starting to ramble, the lack of ideas what to actually say clearly written on her features. The other staff definitely sent a "rookie" to do the job. Wesker laughed evily.

- You wanted to ask who is that gorgeous woman to me?.. Well, that certainly is... - he murderously eyed one of the male staff members that was observing Jill's backside admirely. - My girlfriend. But that's none of your business, actually. - Wesker grinned. The girl blushed.

- Well... It's just... It's just that not often boyfriends visit such stores with their loved ones... - mumbled the cure staff member and rushed to her colleauges who were waiting impatiently as Wesker figured. They started to gossip and the man that eyed Jill a secong ago gave Wesker a jealous look. Wesker grinned at him, showing his white prefect teeth. His whole expression said "mine". Men and their egoism xD

Jill wasn't aware what just happened. She was in slight distress. She couldn't pick what set was better. - the black one or the white?..

- Hey, Wesker?.. - she asked. Her captain looked at her and noticed her holding two sets of undergarments in her hands. The sets were similiar, only the colors were different.

- What set do you think should I pick?.. - Jill looked at the undergarments once more, thoughtfully. Wesker scratched his brow.

- Well... White is for virgins, Valentine. - Wesker glanced at her, hiding his smirk. He said that on purpose to see her reaction.

Jill glared at him.

- Is it the part where I'm supposed to say wether I am a virgin or not?.. - she spat. Wesker nodded, grinning.

- That, actually, was the original plan. - he enjoyed acting like an asshole. Playing with Jill's emotions was a damn great game.

Jill snorted.

- Well, I'm certainly not going to tell you that, sir. - she mocked. - Anyways, what about the black one?..

Wesker shrugged trying to show that he was highly uninterested, but deep in his soul he grinned. He wasn't about just to let this "innocent" conversation left forgotten. He was going to figure that out. One way or another...

- Well, the black is if you want to match myself. - he smirked. - Black is my favorite colour, after all.

Jill pointed a finger at him.

- Aha! The cold unemotional captain of S.T.A.R.S. finally showed that he indeed had something human in himself! You have something favorite after all!

Wesker chuckled, once again running a hand through his hair. A stupid habit he picked up from Redfield... Stupid Redfield. I'll have to cut his salary, Wesker thought maliciously.

- Yeah, I do have something favorite. Like yourself in nothing but panties and bra. - he saud with mischief. He thought Jill will blush, but she dicided to play tough.

- Which one?.. - she asked, lifting both sets a bit up. Wesker glanced at the black one, then at the white one, then again at the black one. But he still was unsatisfied. Something just wasn't right.

He looked at the stand with different undergarments and suddenly extracted a set of blue bra and panties from the row of colourful lingerie.

- I think that'll fit you well. - he stated. Jill looked at the undergarments he was holding, then at the ones she was holding and then thoughtfully at Wesker. He could almost feel gears in her brain moving. Then without a word she dropped the garments she was holding and took the one that were in Wesker's hands. Wesker, holding women's lingerie, by the way, looked hilarious. Jill instantly regreted she couldn't take a picture and send it to all the S.T.A.R.S. annonymously and myspace as well.

When Wesker realised she went to the dressing room he followed after her, a sly smile playing on his lips. He certainly didn't think she seriously was about to try the undergarmnts on, but oh well, you don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Jill closed the door of the cabin she stepped in right before his nose.

- No men allowed. - she said solemnly. Wesker chuckled and banged his fist on the door.

- And here I thought I'd see a free show, Valentine herself stripping for her captain. - he said. - Damn it, Jill. Just damn.

Wesker set on a chair near the dressing room and looked intently in anticipation for the door to open.

Finally the door opened, and Jill Valentine was revealed right before his waiting eyes, only in the blue bra and blue panties.

- Well?.. - she swayed her hips, turning her back to him, then her front, then again back, like a model. Wesker could only stare at her form, at her long legs, flat stomach, big firm probably C sized brea...

Oh, and by the way, he was starting to feel a little excited... Let's say in lower regions of his anatomy.

- You look good. - Wesker said cooly, not wanting to say that she really looked stunning, sexy, delicious, amazing...

Jill chuckled.

- Well I think yor pants are more emotional about my attire than you are. - she pointed at his groin area. Wesker gritted his teeth and leaned forward to hide the mentioned region from Jill's eyes.

- I'm a man after all. - he said in his defense. Jill chuckled once again.

- I guessed. - she smiled slightly. That's when Wesker suddenly growled and pushed her in the cabin along with himself, slamming the door and kissing her furiously. The cabin was small, really, and they were standing to eachother as close as possible, as close as one human being can possibly get to another human being in a small cabin (cheesy XD). Weskers hands circled around her waist, holding her,  
as Jill's went around his neck. Slamming Jill into the wall of the cabin, he started to explore her exposed neck with his lips, encouraged by the small whimpers that came out of Jill's mouth. One of Valentines hands was trying to undo his coat, another one feeling the coldness of his belt buckle.

And just when Wesker decided that Jill's bra should come of, the head of his annoying brother peeked through the door of the cabin.

- There you are, Wesker - Alfred said casually, as if nothing was happening before his eyes. - What'cha doing?..

Wesker shrugged.

- IDK, my BFF Jill?.. - he didn't know why he said that, it just popped into his mind all of a sudden. Alfred yawned, covering his mouth with a box with an image of a one-eyed boy on it and a cunning-looking young man dressed like a butler. Crazy otaku, Wesker cursed in his mind, interrupting something like this...

Wesker let go off Jill with regret, and he could see in her eyes that she was thinking about killing Alfred with a real-life saw in the worst way possible.

- Get dressed, Valentine. - noted Wesker unemotionally, walking out of the cabin. - We stil have to find a military shop to buy Solid Snakes gear.

- And Ocelots too! - squeaked Alfred.

- Shut up. - Wesker said sharply, smacking his brother's foreherd. Alfred grinned.

- You have to be thanking me that I interrupted a certain couple here, or the staff and the customers would've been watching free porno if I came two minutes later.

Wesker sighted.

- How did you know we were here anyways?.. - he asked his brother. Alfred shrugged. I just know my pervy little bro, he thought, but decided against oicing his true thoughts.

- Basically logic. Ahem, who's the master of psychology here?.. - he teased.

Wesker facepalmed himself once again.

* * *

_Hey, it's me again here! I bet you've forgotten about me already?.. xDD I just had no ideas for the story, really, and this pipped into my mind when I was listening different music and doing nothing. Oh, and I beat Remake! Jill's scenario and Chris's as well. I liked playing Chris. Do you want to know why? xD Because in the beginning of the game all I could do was just stare at his ass... xDDD I'm serious. In Remake, Chris has an awfully nice butt xDD Oh, and I got two only good endings. Well, in both scenarios Chris and Jill were together, whoooo! In Chris's scenario I didn't manage to save Rebecca from the Tyrant, but oh well, screw her, if it is for Chris x Jill! XDD Don't get me wrong I like Rebecca, and Rebecca x Billy, but Chris and Jill is just... *drooling xDDD*_

_This story will continue, that I promise you) It's not the end! I have som upcoming ideas for the new stories, possibly one-shots ot two-shots. Dunno. Well, my Prototype story really sucked, and I felt quite bad after realizing it, but my Resident Evil stories are better, that I must say) So maybe soon you'll get a Valenfield from me, or Rebilly, or maybe Chaiken (Chambers x Aiken XDDD), or Burnfield (Steve x Claire), maybe even an Ashleon, but I'm starting to get irritated with the last pairing, really O__o You won't see any Valenieras (yeah, made it up XDD) from me, I guess, but I'm thinking here... *wow! I can think! Cool, huh? XD* about... Don't kill me... Irvingtine O___o One-sided probably XD I dunno. I'll think about it. Oh, and since I don't have a PS2 I'm downloading Final Fantasy Advert Children film, I don't know why, I just want to watch it... Really) _

_I guess I must sigh up on livejournal, I really miss these blogs since I deleted my account from liveinternet... =(_

_Now to the thanks... Well, what can I say?.. Thank you guys fir reading this story, you're the best!_

_**Stardust 4**, yeah, I know he was 38, but I wanted to make him younger XD I mean I know Wesker ages like a fine wine - the older, the better, but still... xDD _

_**Ultimolu**, really? XDDD Thanks, I hope my story still makes you laugh XD_

_**.Ice**, yes, Wesker the mighty cosplayer XDDD That rocks! B)_

_**Mini-Alucard-606**, well, I'm glad that you liked it :P xD_

_**Wesker Priest**, well, yeah, he's a little less cold... I suppose he's a lot less cold Oo XDDD_

_And now for the P.S.: The cosplay chapter is coming! It'll be the next or the next next... But not the nest-next-next that's for sure XD_

_Sorry, this was a little too long =( Probably the half of the chapter length... O_O XD_


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